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Compare this:

It has been said that heavy trucks and the increase in car and truck traffic are making it more certain that the life-time of civil engineering structures such as roads and bridges will be made shorter.

There is a feeling within the civil engineering profession that there is no idea on how to judge the exact number of years a bridge will continue to be safely usable. One could say that a bridge could last well over 50 years because it is over-engineered, but this is likely to be considered as not adequate by today's planners.

A new instrument has now been recently developed and which is capable of measuring fluctuating loads which act on the critical parts of structures over long periods of time, and analysing them instantly is now available.

In the past, the problem has been seen to be that while measurement of the distortion can be easily made on a structure, measurement of the loads that actually contribute to the stress is more difficult. This is unfortunate, because it is information based on vibrating loads on structures, which is used to predict when structures are likely to fail. - 191 words

To this:

Civil engineers can now reliably assess the claim that increased car and heavy-truck traffic is shortening the life-span of roads and bridges. This breakthrough is achieved by a new instrument that measures (and constantly analyses) fluctuating loads on critical parts of structures over long periods. The instrument measures a bridge's life-span by predicting when critical parts are likely to fail.

Previously, a bridge's life-span could be guessed at fifty years because it had been over-engineered, but planners now demand more specific information. While measuring distortion on structures is easy, the problem for engineers has been measuring loads that actually contribute to stress. The new instrument overcomes this. - 107 words

Imagine the clarity and saved time if you could do this to a 60-page document!

The message in your company's documents can be made more powerful by:

  1. Ensuring you know what you want the document to do
  2. Structuring the logic to lead the reader smoothly from one point to the next
  3. Removing useless words
  4. Using bullet points more frequently
  5. Choosing words more carefully.

Profit Improvers Ltd will work with your people to help with:

Let’s talk even if your thoughts are preliminary.
Email: bill@ProfitImprovers.co.uk        Telephone +44 (0) 1224 634873
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Bill,

Thank you for the dedication given to producing the SNS Safety Assurance Procedure. I have valued your support and drive in getting this process finalised into a working draft so that we can use it and hence mould the procedure into its final form. Your clear view as to the requirements has taken the collective view of the team and generated a more concise and accurate document and process. Thank you.

Oliver Tomlins, Drilling Superintendent, BP (SNS).

 

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